Obsessions

Shy isn't the word I'd use to describe myself. I'm just an introvert and then on top of that, I have a resting ciriaz (serious) face. It's genetic. My stoic face. Got it from my dad. I sometimes look like a school principal in a clurrb, kwanza when I wear my specs. I've been asked a number of times "kwani umejam?" Meanwhile, I'm just chilling. Most of my friends are extroverts/ambiverts so when with them, especially around new people, I can be the more quiet one.

But guys, you should see me watching Love is Blind. Or Real Housewives of Atlanta. I'm. A. Menace! There's nothing chill about me. I'm loud, I don't contain my laughter, I pause the tv, clap my hands, talk at the cast, agree or disagree with them. I say "uuuwii" while raising my hands dramatically. I shake my head and say to myself a line I learnt from my mum, "hawa wazungu watatuonyesha mambo". Wazungu to also mean Black Americans.  

I cry with them, then I go get tissue, return and continue to cry 'nicely'. Haha. I'm ungovernable. Mind you, I mostly watch these alone. It's one of my favorite 'me time' activities. I get totally engulfed. I don't care if I'm on dinner duty, I'm bisi (busy). We'll buy the dinner. If I had kids, I'd be in my 'f them kids' era. They could eat ice cream for dinner for all I care. Btw speaking of wazungu and mambo zao, I watch some vlogs. There's this family which occasionally has peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner. Eh, interesting. Where's the stew?

Anyway(z), speaking of drama, big shout out to the Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard case last year. I was hyper-fixated on it. It made my entire April and May ama is it Q2? (corporate guys). l I used to watch it live every evening from like 5:00pm and follow the whole proceeding until say 11:00pm. With all the theatrics I've described above. And when Johnny (first name basis because I feel like I know the man) won, I celebrated! Like a mad woman. I'm still so happy for him.

During this period, my small bro - who's my housemate - has to painfully endure this personality of mine. It's all I talk about. All my jokes are references to what I'm watching. I even sometimes adopt the accent and mannerisms of my favorite people. My noise infiltrates his space. Last year, I remember he had to pause reading for exams when I was watching the Love is Blind season 2 reunion. The one for kina Sheikh haha. It was quite something guys.

The best part about watching these things is the memes. After I finish an episode, I go on Twitter and scroll, laughing (loudly) some more. I fall in love with people who have the same thoughts as me and 'cancel' those I disagree with. I have discussions with my friends, those who are as invested as I am. It's the only time I text long paragraphs. We become professors. We call each other and share opinions. This Love is Blind season 4 has been fire. I still hold the opinions I have about Kwame and Chelsea, even after the reunion. It's my truth. Lol. Plus I thought it's pronounced as Kwame, not Kwami, ama? Don't even get me started on Jackie and Josh. What about Vanessa Lachey? Heh! Anyway, now that it's over, I can return to myself, to my responsibilities. I guess I'll make dinner and wash the dishes on time. Until next the next one.

Another thing I'm obsessing over is Ringoz, the snack. I went to my girl's home one day and she gave us 1 packet, we ate. Then she opened 2nd packet, we ate. When it was over, she asked if she should open a third one. So I did that mgeni thing of pretending to have had enough. She still opened. So I said sure, I'll have kidogo tu, but I ended up finishing the packet.

I'm ruined. I think about them all. the. time. After every meal, it's Ringoz time. Even if I play myself at a restaurant and order food that I don't enjoy, I'm consoled that I have Ringoz waiting for me. The best or worst part is that a pack is like 25/= bob. I knew I was down bad when over Easter I thought wine and Ringoz doesn't sound bad. You know when that guy for snacks was talking about them(Tonnie Mpole), I didn't take him seriously. I should have listened. But it's better later than never. (Remember those small ticks we'd get at the end of every paragraph in a composition if you'd end it with such a saying? lol) 

On Monday I went to the supermarket. Of course on my list of things to buy was Ringoz. When I got to that aisle, I started looking for them, pole pole tu. But I couldn't spot them. Then a cute girl who looked about 7 joined me in that aisle. She was also looking for something but couldn't seem to find it. I immediately knew what it was. I started looking faster now, cause I just knew if we'd spot them and there was only a few packets left, I'd have to take all of them. I was ready. I was going to tackle her if need be. I was gonna say "sorry kamum, they're for my kid's who are going on a trip" (I have no kids yet, and only one nephew who lives 488kms away from me). She would sulk and say "okay, but can you please leave one for me" then I'd say "oh no, I'm so sorry, if I could, I would, but I also have to buy for my nephews and nieces, they're going on the trip together".

Then I'd leave with all of the stock and eat the first packet in the car before my 15 minutes of parking expire. I would have no regrets. Zero.

Luckily for her, we both didn't see what we were looking for. In a defeated voice, the girl said to her mom "they don't have Ringoz" and I felt woiye. I chimed in and also said to her mum "yeah that's what I'm also looking for". I expected some sympathy or empathy. Instead, she bluntly said, "I don't even know what those are"... To avoid further heartbreak, I just took my trolley and moved on to another aisle thinking "how insensitive". I felt bad for wanting to tackle the girl and wished we could form a WhatsApp and plan maandamano against that supermarket. Baba we're suffering lol.

To my girl, who introduced me to Ringoz, thank you for making such an impact. My life has never been the same.

What are you guys currently obsessing over?