Boring my company, not Elon's

My cakes don’t talk back. That never stops me from speaking to them. As I place them in the oven, I tell them things like tembea na Yesu or see you in an hour, or please don’t backfire on me. To be fair, I also don’t take *things that make the baked goods seem like they talk back. Hehe. When they’re out of the oven, I douse them in words of affirmation especially cupcakes, those cute little things. I tell them that they've done a good job and how proud I am of them. On the other hand when they backfire (which happens a number of times in baking) I say to them 'I can't believe you've done this to me. I'm both mad and disappointed'. I'm always the victim even if I'm the one who maybe forgot to add in the baking powder. 

By now, maybe you can tell that I spend most of my working time alone, talking to inanimate things that don't talk back. The result is this: 

I’m slowly growing into an even more boring conversationalist with people.

It’s a painful realization and what’s even more painful is when I just know that I’m out of stories in the middle of a conversation.

At the beginning of this year, I went for an interview for a position that’s client facing therefore it needed someone who is bubbly. I tried and pretended that I was the perfect fit, saying how my friends describe me as extremely talkative and that they are always begging me to shut up, which is a lie. Okay, sometimes my friends usually beg me to shut up because I’m the type to use a phrase repetitively and incessantly when I learn of it. I used “cut the cameras, deadass” for almost everything when I first heard it. So in such instances, they're like "okay Lizzie we get it". Having conversations with my friends isn't too hard because well, they're my friends. Other times, there’s this juice we take that causes us to talk a lot, but that’s a fair playing field because it’s everyone who’s talking a lot. But sometimes a call with a friend can go like this

Hi Liz, 

Hiiiiiiiii, how're you?

I'm doing great, you?

I'm good. Yeah I'm good. 

Ehee, what have you been up to? 

Umm *silence* baking and writing. *Silence* I'm good. Yeah... Mmh... *Silence* Been good.

Haha okay that's nice to know. Sawa, was just calling to check up, bye. 

Bye

Yet another person I've bored with my 'many exciting' stories lol. 

 

Anyway, back to the interview, one of the ladies interviewing me could see right through my bull because guess what guys? In the middle of the interview, I ran out of stories halfway and I couldn’t redeem my 'bubbly' self.

 

About a month ago, I went for lunch with a former colleague and after he finished updating me on his life, for like an hour, when it came to my turn, I had little to say. I felt sorry for him. I tried guys, I did. The muscle is weak! What has made it even worse is that I apply the notion of hearing to listen rather than to respond more often than not. So what happens is that as someone speaks, I'm processing what they're saying to me, getting their perspective.

People I haven't seen in a while are the ones who suffer the most. Sometimes with strangers it's easier cause you can tell them anything, you can make up your own story. Like with Uber drivers / boda guys. I'm always a different person. A doctor or I work with refugees or I'm a manager of a very big musician in Kenya. Anything. I back up my knowledge with what I've heard from podcasts. I spend a lot of time listening to podcasts as I bake and clean.

Sometimes my small bro will come from work and ask me how my day was. I sometimes go like "men, I feel like a 1954 old school traditional house wife cause there's nothing stimulating I can talk to you about. My red velvet today didn't talk back, so you just tell me about your day. Mmelipwa?" Lol

All of this to say, my company has become boring and not the Elon Musk one. It’s made me fearful, that I’ll always be like this and leave the legacy of being a boring person, that's all I'll be remembered for. 

Remember Liz? 

Liz, which one?

The boring one. 

Of course I remember her, she was boring AF.

Sigh. I even have a feeling that this story has bored you. I'm sorry. Is there like a dawa one can take to help with this? This is my cry for help. If I haven't called you in a while, it's because I don't want to bore you. I'm protecting you, and my legacy. Otherwise, non boring people, please give me tips...

Enjoy your holiday guys :) I hope this is the only boring thing you get to interact with today.