"Leo ni Friday, unakunywaga kamnyweso?"
"Haha weh Simo. Hapana haha"
"Kuja leo nikubuyie, although ata mimi sikunywagi bt ukikuja nitajipea kwani Iko nini"
"Haha hapana"
Sends 3 crying face emojis
That's the last text exchange I had with my mechanic, it was at the beginning of this year. For a long time, I'd wanted to have my car tinted, not so much for the aesthetic purpose, but mainly for its function. The way the sun and heat would always hit me without the tint, I considered it a sauna, only without the essential oils, and instead of feeling relaxed, I'd always feel like I was about to pass out. I also hated those awkward stares between myself and especially lorry drivers. So as part of my 2023 resolutions, I called Simo, he came with another guy and they put the tint. I was happy, and seemingly so was he, seeing that he was ready to risk it all, in the WhatsApp message above.
In 2018, before she got here, that's all I could think about. How I'd finally be a car owner and experience the freedom and convenience that comes with that. But my journey with her begins way before that. My mum had this car, and she'd call it a ramshackle, and I'd laugh with her whenever she'd recount the vituko that it would show her, I'd also laugh because I knew, could never be me. And we all know that the moment you say that, the universe says "Bet!" I knew that after Uni, I was going to buy a new car with my 1st job. God laughed until He got a stitch, cause first things first, I wouldn't be wanting a 'corporate' job imminjet after Uni.
I started a baking business and needed a car for deliveries. Ma graciously offered her ramshackle. Since she (Honda) had been dormant for a while, she needed a lot of fixing, which meant a lot of money, just to have it move from the parking area to the gate, then all the way to Nairobi (from Kakamega). I said "How much? Sawa, anything to own a car". Then to have it brought to Nai, it took a village. First my bro, from Kakamega to Kikopey ish. His character was thoroughly developed, she wouldn't stop over-heating. Imagine that hustle of having to chill, then add water, then chill, then be on the move again. Today, 4 years later, is when he'd be getting to the Southern Bypass, and because he had sh** to do, that night at Kikopey ish, he said to her, "Nimeboeka, Gwaheri". A week later, my bro, my dad and myself went to get her. Come to think of it, she's always needed her space. So that's how I officially became a car owner.
When Bien sings about visa na visanga, I think that's me and Honda. Because the things we've been through! Both good and bad. Today, I remembered this time when I needed her to come through for me the most. Check this out.
I was talking to a guy, who we'd had some chemistry for a while. One day, in a Black American accent, he said, "I like ya and I want ya, we either do this the easy way or we do this the hard way" haha okay he didn't say that, that was in Boondocks, but he said something like "I really like you and I want you to be part of my life, come hang out with me and my people" so what did I do? I drove Honda to the promised land. We ate, hang out, listened to music and took some shorroz. As the night progressed, said guy disappeared for a while. When asked where he was, I said lemme go look for my man. Kimbelembele. I found him alright, with his lips deep in another girl's lips, and his hands properly grabbing her behind. Heh! Lost for words, I turned right back and returned to where I was sitting, trying to process what I'd just witnessed. I'm pretty sure my face looked like that upside down smiley emoji (: (it's my current fave). So after a few minutes of shock absorption, I went to Honda, ready to 'gerrarahia' and turned it on, but it just wouldn't come on. I thought HERE THE ..... WE GO! Guys, I was so disappointed and annoyed at Honda I can't even explain. Long story short, it was a night she needed space, then she'd waka the following day after being jump started.
There are many other times we've been in situations with her because of my own fault. Like delayed service. I legit thought that one does it after a year, that those kilometers they write hapo are a nice suggestion. So I'd always wait a year, plus I didn't trust my kms gauge, including the fuel gauge. When she got here, the fuel gauge never used to work, but that wasn't my number 1 priority to fix, remember we had to deal with the over-heating first. What was my solution in the meantime? Put like 2k of fuel and keep refilling per week. It worked well, I knew my car. This one time, one of my bros sent me 3k for fuel and I felt like a Man-U fan, because ile kiburi iliniingia, I kent explain.
So I drove around Nairobi like the boss I was, and a week later, I didn't refuel. I think 2 weeks had even passed, then as I was on Uhuru Highway headed to Mombasa Road (pre express way) during peak rush hour traffic, Honda said "We hunijui wewe. Unaniskianga tu" and she went off. Haha. Without even questioning it, I knew it was the fuel. That day I was with Steve, my 35 year old bro, who's autistic. When it happened, he was so unmoved. I was sweating, cars were hooting, I was trying to get a boda guy, trust that he wouldn't hepa with my kibuyu. (Kenyans are really helpful, even though they'll hustle you afterwards) Oh gosh, I just knew those were masaibu ya kujiletea. Amidst all this madness, Steve just had one comment, "you need to get a new car." I really laughed and then went for therapy afterwards. Okay I'm kidding, I didn't go to therapy cause of Honda, but I should have.
I have some trauma. The maximum speed I drive in, no matter what car I'm in, is 100km/hr. 110 ikienda sana. However, I realized my comfortable speed is 70km/hr, because of my exhaust pipe. One day it just dropped and started dragging along the road haha. The horror! Something to do with the suspensions. So mechs would fix, but kumbe do a bad job, then randomly, it'd drop again. Oh my. So I started driving slowly just in case, and I've never stopped. I suspect that even in a Tesla, I'll always shuku that something will fall off, so 70kmph it will be. Lakini I'll be the first one laugh at f1 P15-20 drivers and say "gari ya McLaren this season ni mayai" Damn...
Actually, finding a good trustworthy mechanic was the bane of my existence. My Dad has just fallen out with his so we were both on the search. I also needed an affordable one, cause I know some of you rich people are just thinking 'si you could've taken it to the Honda sijui workshop'. 'No!'
Simo is one of the few mechanics I liked cause he got me. When he first looked at her, he didn't scare me. Most mechanics would be like
"Wa wa wa madam unatembea kwa highway na hizi miguu?"
"Madam! Hii engine yako italipuka siku moja, nunua oil"
"Unatembea na hizi brake pads hivi? Otis, kuja uone vile huyu madam anataka kujimalisa"
So because of those high level threats I was always replacing parts, sijui spark plugs, mara ang'oa, (shourourt to my Luo peeps, I like that word) I've even forgotten those parts. Then, they'd charge me so much and I'd only realize this when I'd mention it to someone else. So I was always switching mechs, then the next one would be like "ai, kwa nini ulireplace hizi spark plugs, hizi mzee bado ziko poa." Oh men!
But when I met Simo, he was calm. He'd tell me the brake pads could go for another 2 months, the spark plugs were fine. I didn't need a new engine, just to replace the kifuniko for the radiator, the car would stop over-heating. To top it all off, he was fairly priced. That's why I gave him the tender of the tint. He was/is my guy. When I told him to come do the tint at home cause I hadn't replaced my insurance yet, he said "Sawa, ntakam, lakini usiwahi ogopa ati huna insurance, bora tu unaendesha polepole, kwani iko nini, na niko na number ya OCS wa ..... Mimi juzi nimeenda Nakuru na nikarudi bila insurance" haha what? My nigga!
(Don't try this at home, road safety is key)
Where is Honda now you may ask? We're on a long break. Simo included. After putting the tint, it started having issues for wheel aligning. Took it for aligning and balancing then sijui turns out it's the rod something something. I decided my mental health is more important. Just like she needs her space, so do I need mine. It's been 4 months and I've been sleeping better. Juzi, there was mention of selling it and I felt nothing. (That says a lot, considering Joeboy's body & soul has been making me tear, which can only mean it's period week, anything is bound to make me cry) As for now, dear Honda, ka uko sawa mi niko sawa.
Like I said, we've had good times and one day, when I finally move on from her, I'll remember her with more fondness than frustration, because in all truth, she made me experience freedom and the best times, jamming in the car solo, as we go and leave places. My literal ride or die.
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